What The Professor Really Means
- You'll be using one of the leading textbooks in the field.
---> I used it as a grad student.
- If you follow these few simple rules, you'll do fine in the course.
---> If you don't need any sleep, you'll do fine in the course.
- The gist of what the author is saying is what's most important.
---> I don't understand the details either.
- Various authorities agree that...
---> My hunch is that...
- The answer to your question is beyond the scope of this class.
---> I don't know.
- You'll have to see me during my office hours for a thorough answer
to your question.
---> I don't know.
- In answer to your question, you must recognize that there are several
disparate points of view.
---> I really don't know.
- Today we are going to discuss a most important topic.
---> Today we are going to discuss my dissertation.
- Unfortunately, we haven't the time to consider all of the people
who made contributions to this field.
---> I disagree with what roughly half of the people in this field have
- We can continue this discussion outside of class.
- I'm tired of this - let's quit.
- You're winning the argument, let's quit.
- Today we'll let a member of the class lead the discussion.
It will be a good educational experience.
---> I stayed out too late last night and didn't have time to prepare
- Any questions?
---> I'm ready to let you go.
- The implications of this study are clear.
---> I don't know what it means either, but there'll be a question about
on the test.
- The test will be 50-questions multiple choice.
---> The test will be 60-questions multiple guess, plus three short-
answer questions (1000 words or more) and no one will score above 55%
- The test scores were generally good.
---> Some of you managed a C+.
- The test scores were a little below my expectations.
---> Where was the party last night?
- Some of you could have done better.
---> Everyone flunked.
- Before we begin the lecture for today, are there any questions about
---> Has anyone opened the book yet?
- According to my sources...
---> According to the guy who taught this class last year...
- It's been very rewarding to teach this class.
---> I hope they find someone else to teach it next year.
Top 5 lies told by TAs to their students
- I'm not going to grant any extensions.
- Call me any time. I'm always available.
- It doesn't matter what I think; write what you believe.
- Think of the midterm as a diagnostic tool.
- My other section is much better prepared than you guys.
Q: Why do programmers always get confused with Christmas and Halloween ?
A: because DEC (25) = OCT (31).
Top 10 Reasons to Become a Statistician
- Deviation is considered normal.
- We feel complete and sufficient.
- We are “mean” lovers.
- Statisticians do it discretely and continuously.
- We are right 95% of the time.
- We can legally comment on someone’s posterior distribution.
- We may not be normal but we are transformable.
- We never have to say we are certain.
- We are honestly significantly different.
- No one wants our jobs.