What The Professor Really Means

Top 5 lies told by TAs to their students

  1. I'm not going to grant any extensions.
  2. Call me any time. I'm always available.
  3. It doesn't matter what I think; write what you believe.
  4. Think of the midterm as a diagnostic tool.
  5. My other section is much better prepared than you guys.

Q: Why do programmers always get confused with Christmas and Halloween ?
A: because DEC (25) = OCT (31).

Top 10 Reasons to Become a Statistician

Unknown source
  1. Deviation is considered normal.
  2. We feel complete and sufficient.
  3. We are “mean” lovers.
  4. Statisticians do it discretely and continuously.
  5. We are right 95% of the time.
  6. We can legally comment on someone’s posterior distribution.
  7. We may not be normal but we are transformable.
  8. We never have to say we are certain.
  9. We are honestly significantly different.
  10. No one wants our jobs.